Do you ever find yourself straying off course, feeling lost, and wondering how you missed the moment you stopped staying true to your Self? After all, you’ve worked so hard to cultivate fierceness and a strong sense of self, working through relationships, career, health or money issues – or any number of barriers that show up in life.
Sometimes it’s a while before you see how far you’ve strayed from your vision because it hasn’t involved a 90° turn but instead a series of missed opportunities for minute course corrections.
Here’s the thing.
It doesn’t matter how it happened and you don’t need to blame or punish yourself for it.
Staying true to your Self is the work of a lifetime. It’s the adventure we all sign up for.
Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. Marilyn Monroe
That moment you notice – and you always notice – that’s the sweet spot, the moment of greatest celebration.
Because you’re aware.
You can’t stray unless you already have a true north, an authentic desire for staying true to your Self. If you didn’t have that internal motivation, you’d never be aware of the moments when you’re off course.
At the moment you realize you are not where you want to be, you need tools, the first and most important being the desire to see and understand.
Here are seven questions accompanied by affirmations you can use in those moments to get you back on track. Explore them with gentle loving self care. Use a journal, or art supplies, or movement. Whatever feels right.
The Rear View Mirror
Question: What or who is in (or needs to be in) my rear view mirror? There are situations that you can let go of as you move forward. Define whatever is not in line with your true Self. Yes, it’s harder when it’s people whom you’re leaving behind. Depending on the seriousness of the situation, you will need to take the right amount of time to heal. If you learned something valuable you can take with you on the path ahead, it was not a mistake. And you are not a mistake. Empty out the feelings of being wrong or lacking in some way so there is more space to fill up again with radiance, passion, and creativity.
Affirmation: Every moment of my life is a gift.
The Price of Getting Along
Question: What part or parts of my Self did I give up to be liked or to get along? Women in particular often stay silent or stay longer rather than rocking the boat. Peace at all costs simple costs too much. Each time you stay silent, two things can happen. One, you might kick yourself afterwards for not speaking up. Two, you might miss an opportunity to strengthen your sense of self within a relationship, and even indirectly have a positive effect on others. Step into your new territory with a lot of self compassion.
Affirmation: I am strong and capable in every situation.
Question: What is the golden opportunity in this situation for staying true to my Self? You are always becoming; becoming more capable, becoming more of a leader, becoming stronger, becoming more creative, just becoming. Life is here to teach us that. Imagine how boring it would be if at the beginning of our life we had the sum knowledge we gather over a lifetime. Wow, life would be dull and meaningless, wouldn’t it? When you choose staying true to your Self everything you experience is a perfect unfolding!
Affirmation: Every day I am becoming more of who I really am.
Finding a Balance of Strength and Vulnerability
Question: How do I maintain both strength and vulnerability? The last chapter of Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown (a recent selection from one of the YUE book circles) is entitled Strong Back Soft Front. The chapter describes beautifully how to stay strong while at the same time remaining open to new experiences. Something new is exciting and yet for most of us it’s scary too. We need strength to try new experiences and openness to see all aspects of it, even the parts we don’t like or trust. Find your strength in your gifts and capacities and let them carry you forward with an open heart.
Affirmation: My back is strong, my heart is open.
Your Support System for Staying True to Your Self
Question: Who is part of my community of support for all my endeavors? No one needs to stand alone. You are an individual with gifts, capacities and potential and you are also part of the larger fabric of life. In this moment in history, we are gathering a different kind of family, families not necessarily bonded by blood, but by acceptance, curiosity, openness, and world view. You could call it a frequency tribe because you’re on the same wave length. You know you’re in the right tribe when they support you, when they cheer when good happens to you instead of being envious, when they celebrate your triumphs and hold you up when you falter.
Affirmation: I draw to me all the right people in the right time to support me on my path.
Anything and Everything Can Be Edited
What do I want to keep from the time I thought I strayed off course? Any writer knows that when she writes something, there are many changes between the first draft and the final version. It’s good editing to play with the words, to take what’s working and modify it, or discard completely what is irrelevant. It’s the same with your projects, endeavors and life path. Look for what worked from when you think you were off course. Find the good in it and make course corrections. Tweak your vision and discard what didn’t work. Edit as many drafts as you need to make the final version what you want.
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Affirmation: I am a creative being taking the best from each moment.
The Wiser Part of You
Question: How would I look at being “off course” if I knew my higher wiser self orchestrated it? This question might ruffle some feathers. However, there is always a possibility that you yourself orchestrated what happened to take you off course. Why? Because you had to see something important you wouldn’t have seen otherwise, or because Good came from it that you might have missed. You might call these soul lessons, a lesson that you agreed to as an Eternal Being living in your Now body. Celebrate that you have divine assistance in staying true to yourself.
Affirmation: I am loved and guided by a divine power that flows through me always and in all ways.
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